He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
