We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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