he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
only you would photoshop your dick
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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