im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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