it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
