so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
