Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
