Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
