yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
