ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
