I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
