I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
