Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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