Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
