Just fell off a train. Bad.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
