singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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