He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
