im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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