Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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