A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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