New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
