Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
