i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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