I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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