I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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