It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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