i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
