i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
