and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
