Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
