A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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