White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
