So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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