Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
