I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
