i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
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You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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