i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
