I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it glows. i had to have it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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