Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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