Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
