You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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