I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
