i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You were trust falling into bushes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
