I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My dick has a subreddit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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