Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize