Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
