Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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