oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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