I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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