He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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