the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
