people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
