I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
