so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
