Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
