How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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