should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
