I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
