I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
