nut hugger
Are we in a gay sports bar?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
