You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
