I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
