You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
