I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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