They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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